I've been a mom for nine years, going on ten this August. As I look back on my journey from the first time I saw the line on that pregnancy test, to this day as I witness how my son had grown day by day, one of the millions of lessons I learned is that I don't want to miss a thing of getting dumbfounded and amazed by the wonder of the miracle of life that God gives us each moment. I regret having a wandering, divided heart when I first heard the first cry of my baby inside that brightly lit operating room, halfway numb, the doctor declaring "It's a big boy!" It felt so surreal. When the nurse showed me my baby, feeling his cheeks on mine and then laid on my chest, part of my brain was stuck on the process of the C-section I had to go through. My mind was divided, partly on my own pain and partly on this new life breathing, heart beating, feeling the newness of the air outside my belly, laying right on me. I missed the fullness of joy of savoring, of immersing my whole being, and just plainly enjoying the marvelous gift and reward of the miracle of life in front me. From this lesson, I should intentionally remind myself daily to fully focus on being present at the moment. Being there but not fully there is still a struggle for me. I want to soak myself in the joy of the moment, not distracted by the past or drawn to yet unknown future.
The responsibility of motherhood can be very overwhelming. In the midst of all the mundane daily chores, I forget that my child is a gift to enjoy and have fun with. There are times that I get too overwhelmed by the responsibilities of training and teaching and disciplining that I miss the joy of his mere presence. I need to be constantly reminded that my child is a reward from God and not just a responsibility in my to do list. And I don't want to miss that gift of joy.