“You don’t know what you are raising!” These words echoed in my mind long after I
heard them on the radio one Mother’s Day.
I simply couldn’t forget nor ignore it.
I felt I had to pay attention to my heart and look deeper into my
soul. I had to assess my attitudes and
behaviors toward my role as a mother. All
the rigors of motherhood came flashing at the back of my mind. The daily grind of monotonous routine, the
cycle of waking and sleeping and waking and sleeping, again and again and again,
all seem the same and endless. The excitement slowly faded. The energy sucked and drained. What is the meaning of all these? The feeling of being trapped and lost, of
knowing who I really am apart from mothering, brought me some moments of resentment. Staying at home, the mundane household chores day in day out were things I thought were not what I wanted to do.
I wanted to explore a career, earn a living, pursue my own
passions. I felt misplaced.
Then came these piercing words! So powerful they broke my heart. I realized I am in a very privileged and
blessed place, a place of power. I am a
mother. I am shaping a future. I am an influence. What a great honor to have been entrusted such
a magnificent responsibility. It will be
up to me if I make it or break it. I choose
the former! And I am rallying the
message to all mothers.
All throughout history, we witness great men
and women who were influenced by their mothers.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “The mother is the supreme asset of the
national life. She is more important, by
far, than the successful statesmen, businessmen, artist or scientist.” Thomas Edison’s mother who courageously
educated him after his unthriving days at school had this influence on him: “My
mother was the making of me. She
understood me. She let me follow my bent.”
Saint Augustine was not a godly person at first. But his mother Monica never gave up on him.
She prayed unceasingly for her son and Augustine eventually surrendered to God
and to this day has a great impact in other people’s lives. Most of all, I think about Mary, the mother of Jesus. She was very observant of what was going on in the life of his son. She kept and stored in her heart and thought about the important events surrounding the life of Jesus (Lk.2:19; Lk. 2:51).
There is that seed of power we, mothers,
possess inside our being which influences the children assigned to us. We only
have to recognize it and tap into it so we can fully use it. We should not, therefore, undermine who we
are in our society, especially those of us who chose to stay home instead of
pursuing a “career”. Motherhood is more
than a career. It is a privilege! It is a calling, a vocation! As what Dan
Miller said in his book “48 Days To The Work You Love”, "vocation is what you’re
doing in life that makes a difference and builds meaning for you, which you can
review in your later years to see the impact you’ve made in the world." This will leave a legacy. Motherhood is such a high calling. It requires a great amount of wisdom and
knowledge to help build and nourish a life that will one day be someone to
impact the next generation. Perhaps Theodore
Roosevelt’s mother would have doubted even a thought that someday that little
baby she was feeding, cuddling, raising would one day become the President of a
great nation. Or Thomas Edison’s mom could have just given up on his child when
the school system didn’t recognize his special gifts that were not in tune with
the majority. Augustine’s mother could
have just abandoned the idea of interceding for him in prayers. And then there's Mary. Who would have thought that her son would one day walk on water, feed five thousand people with five loaves of bread and two fish or raise the dead and most importantly, the Savior and Messiah? But these mothers used their power they might have not even recognized.
Their strength and determination to be what they were called to be left an
indelible legacy not only in the lives of their children but eventually that of
the world.
We don’t know what we are raising! We don’t know exactly what our children would
become. They might not become as famous
as the people mentioned, but they are as valuable as anybody else. They have been fearfully and wonderfully made
by God for a specific purpose. They have
been uniquely created, different from everybody else. The challenges of raising these souls can be
exhausting, frustrating, disappointing at times. I speak about my own experience or
inexperience. I have an only child. My boy
had not always been the “normal”, easy to raise kind of child. He has always been intense and sensitive to
his environment. It has been a roller
coaster ride for me. When he was a baby until around three years old, he
wouldn’t go with anybody else except mom and dad. He would be anxious when left with other
people. He didn’t know how to play with
kids that made me feel he’s left out when all the other kids happily played
with each other while he was by himself.
It broke my heart. There are
times I tend to compare him with others.
There are times I forget the excellent gifts he has when he’s not
conforming to the norm. His uniqueness slips out of my thoughts when he doesn’t perform to my
expectations. When things are excellent
and he does great, I’m in high spirits.
My great expectations are satisfied.
But when he doesn’t seem to meet what I want, or what the society’s
standard is, I get discouraged and down. I fail to see the distinctiveness of him
from the rest of the world. I tend to
let him conform, a lot of times for my own convenience and reputation. Motherhood then becomes all about “me”. My child has become my extension and
reflection. If he behaves bad, I fear of
what people would think of “me”, of how I fail to train him well. He then becomes a measurement, my yardstick, my trophy of my own sense of accomplishment or a mark of my failure.
I forgot to see motherhood is not about “me.” I focused on my own selfish ambitions, my own
picture of a model child. I got
frustrated and disappointed because I
did not focus on my child’s strength but
on his weaknesses. At first I thought my
focus was on his strengths. I gave him
toys related to his interests. I read
him books that he was passionate about.
We went to places that excited him.
I thought I did enhance his strengths.
But the reality is at the back of my mind I still wanted him to conform. I haven’t fully accepted
his uniqueness, his bent. Now comes the
moment of truth, the confrontation within myself.
Mothering is not about me. It’s about this gift of life that has been
entrusted to me. Acceptance and celebration
of the child’s individuality and uniqueness are a freeing realization for
me. If I focus, observe and nurture my
child’s uniqueness, his wonderful gifts and talents and not to satisfy my own
selfish expectations, I am using my power to stir his life into productive
pursuit. That is our mother power.
But that power is not a power of our
own. We need to plug ourselves into a
higher power. We need to constantly
recharge our own spirit and soul by constant communication with God in prayer
and soaking ourselves in the Word of God, constantly, consistently seeking Him
first. Apart from Him we are nothing.
Without that higher power imparted to us, we will lose sight and energy
to persist, to not give up in the most challenging times. On the other hand, if we ourselves are in
tune with the Spirit of God, listening to this calling, we will have the wisdom
to raise and nurture our precious children.
Those seeds had been implanted in our own wombs, sprouted and grew to
become the cradle of civilizations, of history and of the world to come. The power
of God within us is the power of possibilities, the power of hope, the power of
faith, the power of love that can turn things around in the lives of our
children. We are God’s ambassadors to
raise generations, to raise the future.
All of us mothers, let us not forget who we
are. We have the power.
© 2013, Odette Navarro / All Rights Reserved
